Frozen Snow

I'm baack after one hell of a long hiatus

Sun, 28 Oct 2007 13:16:07 GMT

Hey all, I'm back again after one hell of a long hiatus, lot has happened in the past year, including having a boyfrind for 5 months, loosing my virginity, being put on antidepressants and gaining a new boyfriend well kinda at least I think so. My ex when i dated for 5 months left me for another girl which i was not happy about. Not to worry much the guy was a bastard. Anyways I'm happier now, and am doing much better since my ex dragged me down into the sprial of depression.

Best time of my life was at Supanova, met myself a real nice guy, I'm hoping this one to turn out right this time. Well it's also that time of year again almost. Yup I'm talking about NANO, National Novel Writing Month. This year I'll be attempting the fea of writing two 50k novels, not just one, count them, two 50K novels. Which will be a massive attempt considering the work I do now. At least I have no school to worry about considering I've graduated now and am a free person. Well I'll be giving updates on whatever progress comes along, so hopefully I'll succeed this time, whether it be with one or both of my stories.

~Suki

A little survey about me.

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 06:23:55 GMT

Name:	Stephanie Taylor
Birthdate:	9th November 1988
Birthplace:	Sydney, Australia
Current Location:	Canberra, Australia
Eye Color:	Green
Hair Color:	Ash brown
Height:	5'4.5"
Weight:	62kg
Piercings:	ears
Tatoos:	n/a
Overused Phraze:	you know..
*FAVORITES*
Food:	mango
Candy:	grape bubblegum
Number:	9
Color:	blue
Animal:	Wolf
Drink:	Iced chocolate
Alcohol Drink:	Brandy Alexander
Bagel:	ham and cheese
Letter:	k or l
Body Part on Opposite sex:	eyes
*This or That*
Pepsi or Coke:	coke
McDonalds or BurgerKing:	McDonalds
Strawberry or Watermelon:	ohh tough... watermelon
Hot tea or Ice tea:	either
Chocolate or Vanilla	chocolate
Hot Chocolate or Coffee:	definatly hot chocolate, coffee makes me sick
Dog or Cat:	dog
Rap or Punk:	definatly punk.
Summer or Winter:	No question about it.... winter
Scary Movies or Funny Movies:	scary movies
Love or Money:	love
*YOUR...*
Bedtime:	anywhere past 12am
Most Missed Memory:	my childhood
Best phyiscal feature:	breats, wha I'm being honest I love them
First Thought Waking Up:	What story will be started today
Goal for this year:	to complete yr 12 without failing a class
Best Friends:	Alex, Mandi, Kristin, Sam, Cass
Weakness:	my friends
Fears:	relationships
Heritage:	Dual national. citezenship in Switzerland and Australia
*HAVE YOU...*
Ever Drank:	yes
Ever Smoked:	no
Pot:	no
Ever been Drunk:	no
Ever been beaten up:	yes
Ever beaten someone up:	yes
Ever Skinny Dipped:	no
*IN A GUY/GIRL*
Favorite Eye Color:	Blue
Favorite Hair Color:	black
Short or Long:	short
Height:	6ft
Style:	wind swept
Looks or Personality:	handsome, sweet gentle and kind but not without a temper.
Hot or Cute	Hot
Drugs and Alcohol:	no drugs but maybe the occasional drink
Muscular or Really Skinny:	muscular
*RANDOMS*
Number of Regrets in the Past:	more than I can count
What country do you want to Visit:	Switzerland and America(only for friends)
How do you want to Die:	in my sleep of old age
Been to the Mall Lately:	nope
Do you like Thunderstorms:	Love them
Get along with your Parents:	most of the time
Health Freak:	not really
Do you think your Attractive:	just starting to
Believe in Yourself:	yes
Want to go to College:	I am in college, well what we call college here.
Do you Smoke:	no
Do you Drink:	occasionally, for celebration only
Shower Daily:	most of the time.
Been in Love:	once
Do you Sing:	I love to
Want to get Married:	yes
Do you want Children:	yes
Have your future kids names planned out:	sadly yes I do.
Age you wanna lose your Virginity:	before I'm 25
Hate anyone:	nope.
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

What I'm like.

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 06:11:20 GMT

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	80%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|	20%
Accommodation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Interdependence	\|\|\|\|	16%
Intellectual	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Mystical	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Artistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Religious	\|\|	10%
Hedonism	\|\|	10%
Materialism	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Narcissism	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Work ethic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Self absorbed	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Conflict seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Need to dominate	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%

Romantic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Anti-authority	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Wealth	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Dependency	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Change averse	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Individuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Sexuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Peter pan complex	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Physical security	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Physical Fitness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	57%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Vanity	\|\|	10%
Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|	16%
Female cliche	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

NaNoWriMo Novel Progress

Tue, 14 Nov 2006 08:34:07 GMT

Well now I'm just going to talk about my novel progress to the end of the month since I've nothing else better to talk about and here below you can see my progress so far. I'm so happy everything's going good so far even though I've missed so many important novel writing hours and days due to school and other reasons.

~Suki

7 days till my 18th Birthday and I'm sick

Thu, 02 Nov 2006 04:28:32 GMT

Well you heard right in one week I'll be 18. But it'll really suck if I'm sick. I was in hospital on saturday night turns out I was really dehydrated and well couldn't stand any light so I was tucked away in this little dark room away from the other sick people. I had a drip put in my left hand and was given some panadine fort for my headache and muscle pain.

To cut a long story short I was there for almost 6 hours. Which meant I was there kinda almost over night since we got to the hospital a little after 10pm on Saturday. I had almost 3L of fluid put in me and after my photosensitivity subsided I was allowed to go home. Especially since all the blood they'd taken for tests came back clear, well kinda. Turns out I have a contagious Viral illness which has given me the whole week off school.

So the doc gave me this whole week off because I'm sick and not allowed to be near others. At least I don't look like death anymore my mother says. considering I was whiter than white bed sheets when I was taken to the hospital, I even turned an odd shade of grey too.

On a happier note I get to rest and recover, which means I get to start writing my NaNo story. For those of you who don't know what NaNoWriMo is, it's the National Novel Writing Month. Where you have from November 1st to 30th to write a 50K novel. So that's my challenge for the month. What's making it even harder is that I'm aiming to have it finished before the 9th which is my birthday. So that gives me a week in which to write a 50K novel. Now I just need to find a topic and start. To those I go to school with. I'll see you again on monday, a sight less contagious and not so much like the walking dead.

~Suki

Fun For October

Tue, 03 Oct 2006 08:40:39 GMT

Well To start off with yesterday was my youngest neices first birthday. Also the two teams I backed for first the AFL Grandfinal and the NRL Grandfinal both won, yay so I'm all happy now. Yesterday was also my first driving lesson. It was on a maunal and well I thought it was great. I only stalled it twice and that was on the hill starts we did. I don't think I did so badly, my next driving lesson is next week monday. I might be getting a car for my 18th but we'll see. It'll be a manual though since I like those better than Auto, strangely enough as it is. I feel more in control driving a manual than I do an Auto.

Last night I stayed the night at Alex's and it was great we spent most of the night playing Kingdom Hearts 2 which is soo awsome. I love Axel and Roxas together they're soo cute I can see why people say they're gay, I just love them. After that we played DDR (for those who don't know what that is it's Dance Dance Revolution)then we went to bed. It was about 1:30am before I went to sleep, since I sat up reading a magazine. Today we played DDR at her house before going across to the mall to play it for a while. Well I haev lots of fun more than I've had in a long time..

~Suki

Whee Quizzes

Fri, 29 Sep 2006 13:04:31 GMT

What type of Fae are you?

My lord it's rather spot on f I don't say so myself.

~Suki

END of School Term 3

Fri, 29 Sep 2006 12:57:08 GMT

Yay it's the end of school if only for two weeks. Next week monday I'm going on my first driving lesson. Oh look at my pretty new shiney userpic, it's of Dominic Colenso, it's him as Virgil in the movie Thunderbirds. Now I'm a die hard fan, and I love the pic, isn't he soo gorgeous.

~Suki

Without anyone in my life....

Wed, 27 Sep 2006 09:35:10 GMT

Today has not been the best of days, first it's my brother's birthday which has never bode well for me. I'm forced to be nice to him the entire day and yet on my birthday it never matters. Why is it that only now in my hour of sadness and loss recounting the days happenings tears streaming down my face do I realise I have no one to count on. Only now do I realise the only time I let myself have my tears is when I'm alone without anyone to turn to or tell my own worries. I'm always there for everyone else withoout a care for my own worries or problems, I never let my weakness show until I'm behind closed doors.

I miss having companionship and having a shoulder to cry on, once I was the person needing the comfort and the constant support. When did that all change. When did I become that source of strength and support in another person? When did I stop needing the support and start supporting others. Was is because gradually I hardened myself against the brutal never ending onslaught of teasing through out primary school and high school. How did I become so cynical and bitter, blind to my own wants and desires. When did I stop responding to compliments and putting myself down rather than try and salvage my damaged self esteem.

I've hidden all my problems away and now they're starting to drag me down. They're the ones that whenever I'm put down place the voice in my head that chips slowly away at my self esteem. In defence I must shoot down anyone who comes close to me or tries too. I've too much bagage for anyone to want me and no way of letting it all go. I've a past I've forgotten and barely remember except for the most painful things that have ever happened. When did death become a priority in my life, not my own death, that is something I never wish, it's a false escape from this world and a permanant one too. Everyone I ever seem to have as a friend either dies on me or just no longer speaks to me.

I'm now just a shadow in many lives, trapped by my past, lost without a soul and someone who causes more problems than she is worth. For once I wish something for me, I can't believe in god because he has never answered my prayers and failed me too many times. I can't believe in my friends because they're as breif as my life. I can't believe in myself anymore, because there is nothing to belive in.

All I want in my life is some peace, some repreive from my pain and someone I can count on. I need someone to love who loves me back, a shoulder to cry on, someone to depend on and yet still depend on me as well. I want so many things, I want a guy in my life, I want a child. I want so many things and they'll never come true, because I've lost hope. I've lost faith, lost my way and strayed far from my path, if I ever had a path to begin with.

Maybe this is my fate, I've always been a person who believes in fate. I've lost my will to do a lot of things now, with a heavy heart and burden I trudge on down this path. the path I've wound up on with no directions to get back, no furture to look forward too, and nothing to life for every day. Yet I will still live on, simply a shell of the timid but ever patient and caring little girl I used to be. A friend who I haven't spoken to since I was given the word he may be dead wrote me this poem, but I'll only show you the bit that has made me cry the most and kept me living if only for the rest of my life should he not survive the rest of his.

"And finally the spirit of you that brings them together, a woman who is perfect in everyway. She is just waiting for the perfect person to find her. She deserves the best because she is the best. She needs man who will help and grow with her and take her far because a woman like her should see the world because the world deserves to see someone like her. Someone who is heaven on earth

That Woman is you.

You could make a satanic into a holy man, a gay man straight, a Hercules into a nerd, or the other way around. You can turn death into life with your being. You are wonderful and you should never forget that."

~Suki

We Once Were Men

Tue, 26 Sep 2006 05:05:36 GMT

Yes that is the title of the play I'm writing, it's set in 1941, during WWII. It centres around a young Lieutenant and three men of higher rank, it's a sad story, a tale of the impact of war and how much it changes men as a whole and not just a person. That's all I'm going to tell you about it though for the moment. Other than that today was one of the better ones in my life.

~Suki

Oh my god I'm turning into a girl.....gasp

Sat, 23 Sep 2006 08:57:05 GMT

Yes you heard right, I've started wearing clips in my hair and paying attention to how I look. I seriously must be sick cause I was never like this before. 'tis just soo wrong for me, I don't dress like a girl, I must be out of my mind or something. I'm becoming girlish and unlike my usual self. I suppose it can't be too bad, I swear it must be thinking on the wedding that's coming up that's making me like this and all girly. oh what am I going to do with myself.

~Suki

Sooo Tired.............

Fri, 22 Sep 2006 06:52:44 GMT

Well Today was certainly busy. Working in the canteen for the day with only 2 hrs away from it, and those were for classes. We also had a car show today at our school sponsered by Summernats, I have to admit though some of the cars were preettyy impressive. Well I only got to look at the cars because I was dressed up and selling Sushi. Yup selling sushi for my japanese class at of course a car show, a bit weird don't you think, well they sold well despite us standing next to the sausage sizzle which was going for free.

I've got a play to write another one to review and oh so many things to do in this last week, 2 creative responses, an OH&S test to do and then take the sheet to school saying if I've past it or not. Got to book my first aid course. *yawns* on top of that I'm tired now because it was soo busy. At least I have my hot chocolate to keep me awake, for the time being of course.

~Suki

Absolutly Impossible

Tue, 19 Sep 2006 07:14:33 GMT

This sucks. Today I went to my mums work and met up with my dad and brother there. To check out some dresses that I could get for a wedding I've got to go to in less than 2 months. It's 3 days after my 18th. It's cocktail dress, but I want to feel pretty and wear a dress not a skirt and top or a nice top and pants. However anything I pulled out my dad or brother made a face at. Well I finally found a dress I liked that fit. I tried it on and then went out after changing back into my normal clothes to show dad the dress.

Well Guess what the reply I got was. It was do you really want to pay $50 for a dress, besides it's looks so country. The dress did not look country and $50 isn't that bad for dress which is nice and I can wear again and again. You tell me where to find a nice looking almost cocktail dress for under $50 and I'm not talking about $1 under. It's almost impossible. My mum said the $50 wasn't that bad and yet my dad turns to me and says it's too expensive.

So I left and caught the bus home, taking as much time as I could to get home, arriving at my house at 4:30pm my dad and brother were already home. I just don't see how I'm going to find something nice, and I'm not wearing black, that's just something you don't wear to a Wedding. It's just impossible. I just don't know what to do anymore.

~Suki

My boobs have names....O.O

Sun, 27 Aug 2006 08:36:22 GMT

Your Boobies' Names Are...

Wonder Woman and Batgirl

Boobie Name Generator

I'm soo Evil

Sun, 27 Aug 2006 08:18:42 GMT

You Are 84% Evil

You're the most evil person you know.
The devil is even a little scared of you!

How Evil Are You?

Oh my god!! I can't believe I got Her

Sun, 27 Aug 2006 07:26:27 GMT

Yup I took the quiz Marissa told me to and looky who I got. I haven't even seen the movie, heard of it know of it know the story line but have never seen it. by god i've seen the sequal but not the first one. well here she is the one I got.

You Are Pocahantas!

Free-spirited and wise. You have a strong passionate spirit that touches and changes all who know you. The wisdom and common sense that you have is really what guides you through life. Even so, you also have a very playful side that loves adventure and excitement.

Which Disney Princess Are You?

The Dreaded Lurgy......

Sat, 26 Aug 2006 12:33:26 GMT

Yes I've caught the dreaded lurgy for those who don't know what that is, it's a cold, just a plain simple nasty cold that doesn't leave you and drains all your strength leaving you feeling weak and horrible. Now because of this I've missed three days of school, which means I have an assignment to complete and hand in on monday and an ICE(an In Class Essay for those of you who don't know what it is). This all to be done while I'm sick, frankly I wish this thing would just go so I could carry on with normal life, or whatever can be considered normal for me.

On the upside though, before I got sick my friend Marissa had the most wonderful birthday party, I haven't been to a party in years and it was nice to have a friend invite me to theirs rather than tell me I would have been an innapropriate guest and would have ruined the whole thing. I'm too childish for my own good sometimes I just don't know when to stop, and not having a social life and limited social skills really doesn't help in anyway. I know I may have gone a little overboard at her party and I do appologise for that since I'm horribly immature and socially inept. Still I had a wonderful time and want to thank her for inviting me to come.

~Suki

A new beginning.....

Sat, 22 Jul 2006 13:15:26 GMT

New username new journal entries. A whole lot is new. I like this journal more than my other one and well. It'll be more active. As for things I've done well, I've just come back from visiting my sister, it was wonderful. though it did rain alot. My neices are both gorgeous. I hadn't seen my sister and my neices in over a year. it was the first time I got to meet my youngest neice. She's such a mummies girl. I love them both very much. Well I've got a story to write with a friend. it's a bit of a love story but, I love the two characters they're so cute together. Well until tomorrow or monday when I come back from my first day back at school

~Suki